Have you ever set goals and objectives and never reached them? I think this is a common space for all at some point or another. Some more than others are stuck in this cycle day after day, week after week and live with the mediocrity it brings as they live below their own potential and abilities.
When I think of repetition I think of that saying “If you keep doing what you’ve always done you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got, nothing changes unless you make it change.”
For us to become aware of these patterns and change these limiting beliefs we need to get ourselves off auto-pilot and through awareness start to test the way we think, feel and behave in various circumstances.
What is this awful thing called Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is any behavior, thought or emotion that holds you back from getting what you want consciously. It is the conflict that exists between conscious desires and unconscious wants that manifests in self-sabotage patterns. It not only stands between you from reaching your goal, but also becomes a safety mechanism that protects you against disappointment. So, in other words, your brain is protecting you from getting hurt by doing what it thinks is best, which is keeping you within your comfort zone. (That place of same old same old).
Some possible reasons for Self-Sabotage
Self-sabotage tends to hang around in our lives because of a lack of self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-belief. It is also very aligned with us not being able to manage our emotions effectively. Our reaction to events, circumstances or people that tend to hinder our progress and prevent us from reaching our goals and objectives. Self-Sabotage is also a coping mechanism for us to cope with difficult situations or expectations of self or others when we feel we are incapable of reaching them. Self-sabotage left to its own devices will continue to leave us with a life full of regrets and unfulfilled expectations.
Types of Self-Sabotage one finds
Self-sabotage comes in many forms and can manifest in different ways. Here are some methods we use to often sabotage our own success.
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of taking risks.
- Fear of making mistakes.
- Inability to listen to instructions carefully.
- Inability to plan ahead.
- Inability to say “no” to others – Lack of boundaries
- Inability to consider the consequences of our actions.
- Inability to think carefully before making decisions.
- Inability to critical thinking or practically.
- Lack of resilience
- Need to be right
- Constant worry
- Unrealistic expectations.
- Judgement of self and others
- Comparison
- Victim mentality – Blaming – taking no responsibility
- Procrastination
- Drinking
- Overeating
- Perfectionism
- Accepting people’s advice without question.
- Limiting beliefs, emotions, and attitudes.
- Living a life wishing things will happen instead of making them happen